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Nothing brings out creativity like competition. A well placed jibe, an effective insult, or an intimidating team name all have the potential to be the extra point needed to win. Never to be taken lightly, these intimidation tactics are an essential part of the take-no-prisoners world that is fantasy football. I'm learning this lesson fast and furious as we embark on our inaugural Fantasy Football league here at Mr. Beer. Entries are pouring in, so it appears the first challenge will be gaining a coveted spot in the league. You're just gonna have to leave that up to fate, though, as it's going to be a completely random selection. You might consider sacrificing a pigskin to the gods of football, though. Or eating exactly two chocolate chip cookies for luck – hey, it apparently works for Brian Urlacher; why couldn't it work for you? But you probably already have your own ritual or superstition that helps you gain the upper hand. I'm learning about those, too – another very important part of the game. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here – it all starts with the team name. And boy, have we received some doozies so far.
Here are a few of our favorites*:
• Kegger Raiders – a brain that can so cleverly pun their team name will be a challenge to go up against, to be sure.
• Go Ugly Early – a popular tactic at the bar, but will it work in a fantasy football setting?
• The Purple People Eaters – will they be as menacing a force as the infamous Minnesota Vikings teams of old?
• Best be watching out for those crazy wild cards The Shake Weight Boys.
• The Mullet Mafia might sink you in the crick out back with a brick tied to your foot and a boot in your….rear end.
• Carnivorous Cobras – a tad redundant; aren't all cobras carnivorous? Frankly, I'd be more scared of vegan cobras, since that means they can choose and reason and humanity would be doomed.
• BrewBrees – Beer-related football puns will always get us in our tender hearts.
• Murphy's Law – kind of a cynical name for a fantasy team, isn't it? Just sayin.
The list goes on, but I think you catch my drift. Don't be leavin' your A game at home. The weak need not apply.
Now, I hope I didn't go overboard – certainly there's no need to psych yourself out. Well, not once you've picked out a team name that's equal parts awesome, intimidating, and ass-kickingly full of win, obviously. Until then, you might want to be a little scared. But fear just enhances the experience, we say. And you're already wearing your lucky undies, so you've got nothin' to worry about, right? If you're ready to play, here's the email address you'll need to throw your own inspired team name into the hat:
Just make sure to include the following on the email, along with that awesome name you've divined from the Football Gods:
Proposed Team Name (keep it SFW):
So what are you waiting for? Let's get ready to RUUUMBLE!
*Please note that participants will be randomly selected to fill the available slots in the Mr.Beer Fantasy Football league, and not everyone will be selected. You may want to eat a few more cookies for luck.